Because social media is such a part of the way that we all do life now, it makes sense that it would be a key channel to let others in our world know how we love our spouse. In our social media feeds, usually we see posts of The Wife prepped and dressed in her finest, lookin’ goooooood. Often we see The Happy Couple taking a selfie at some significant event or location. If the post is about The Husband, usually it’s something he made or fixed. Just kidding. But maybe not.
All of the above examples were probably intended by one spouse to help them feel connected to the other, and to let their part of the universe know just how great their spouse is.
But that’s not what this blog is about.
THIS is how you can use social media to help you feel closer to your spouse.
Before you read any further, this blog is specifically aimed at married couples. As dating couples get closer and more serious about a forever life together, the following steps can be a good measuring stick to gauge how ready you are for marriage.
1. Share passwords. ALL of them.
Did you know that it is now a best practice in the divorce courts these days for each attorney to petition access to the other party’s passwords? That’s because behind passwords there are usually secrets. So, if you are really in this together with your spouse, there’s no reason not to share your passwords, right? If you haven’t done this already, you are about to experience a great surge of connection, relief, and safety. So what if your spouse does some snooping? Because they won’t find anything to alarm them (right?) it will help them feel even more security and affirmed their trust in you and in your future together. If the urge to look strikes, after a while of digging and not finding any dirt, they will not see any reason to continue to look. By sharing passwords, you set up your marriage for the greatest possible success.
2 . Give your spouse veto power to delete, unfriend, unfollow, block or terminate any connection.
So your spouse finds some people in your social media world that they are not comfortable with you “connecting” with. By ending that digital relationship (digital relationship- what have we become?!), you signal to your spouse he or she is more valuable and more important to you than some random former heartthrob you likely will never see again in real life anyway.
(If it’s more than a digital relationship, you’ve got bigger problems.)
If these two steps seem like no-brainers to you, congratulations! Your marriage is probably already a haven of safety and comfort. If you’re feeling some resistance, you might be surprised how much better your marriage becomes if you will follow these two steps. You’ll never know unless you remove these very real relational roadblocks that social media can create.
Greg Griffin is a Pastoral Counselor in private practice in Marietta. His specialty is relationship repair and rescue- helping partners, spouses, and parents and their adolescents. He’s also the author of Dungeon Times Survival Guide, and Vital Faith.
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