greg griffin

One of my favorite activities to do with a group is to lay a piece of rope on the floor in front of everyone and ask them how long it is. Usually I’ll cut the rope to a length of 11-14 inches, and I know exactly how long it is. I’ll tell the group that the rope is cut to a “whole inch” length, meaning it’s not a certain number of inches plus a fraction of some sort. I ask each member of the group to decide for themselves, without using a ruler or measuring tape. Once everyone has a number in mind, I ask them to form groups with those who are in agreement with them… and then the fun beings. Some people have lots of company, and some people are alone in their thinking. I begin to question people about how certain they are and tell them if they’d like to change their mind at any point in the discussion, they are free to change groups, or form a new group. As you can imagine, the discussion becomes lively as folks defend their position. Some people’s rationale and arguments are quite funny as they try to persuade others that they are right, or that other positions are wrong. After all, we’re discussing a piece of rope! At some point, I’ll ask if there is the possibility that more than one group/position can be right, and of course everyone agrees that there is only one right answer. It’s interesting to watch as people either become more entrenched in their position, or if they waffle and change to another. After a while, I’ll bring out a tape measure and reveal the true length, and the celebration/disappointment/(insert other emotion here) begins.

So, what’s the big deal about this whole exercise? The length of the rope never changed, regardless of the discussion or persuasive ideas presented. Until the measuring tape was used to settle the discussion, other “measuring sticks” were used, so other “answers” were derived, from whatever means. Interestingly, in the numerous times I have done this exercise, no one has ever disputed (with seriousness) the validity of the tape measure. Everyone accepted the tape measure as a truthful and absolute measure.

In our daily lives, we measure rope lengths all day, every day. Life presents lots of ethical and spiritual issues that we must make decisions about. We hear the arguments for and against, and like it or not, we must decide as well. Our answer, our decision, will be determined by our measuring stick. If we use “how happy we will be” as our measuring stick, guess what? The length of the rope will be different in a few days, or maybe in a few hours. The same is true if we use money, or public opinion or any other measuring stick that is not constant. (Just think about how fast public opinion changes about political candidates or fashion styles… or what laws we ought to have or not have.)

You are probably ahead of me here- there is only one absolute measure- the Word of God. It will never change according to time, culture, age, or any other factor. I can promise you this- it will not be the most popular measuring stick, and people will shout it down and try to persuade others to their position based on their different measuring sticks. However, one day, the Lord God will reveal the length of the rope to everyone, using His absolute truth as the measure, and any further discussion will be futile. The good news is we don’t have to wait until then. God’s love is so great, He has revealed His love and truth in His Word, so we don’t have to wonder if we’re guessing correctly. I guess it all comes down to this- will we accept His measure, His ways, as truth?

I’m not a fisherman, but the few times I’ve been out on a boat with I’ve learned that if you want to catch any fish, the lure you choose is very important. It doesn’t even have to be live bait to work in a lot of cases. It just needs to be attractive enough to get the fish’s attention.

We get that, because we use lures ourselves to attract what we want. We use clothes, cars, money, perfume, facades, haircuts, tattoos, gadgets, pick up lines, whatever will help us get what we think will be good for us. But hey, people use lures on us all the time as well. It’s called advertising, and it’s everywhere around us. We process hundreds of advertising lures a day, some without even knowing it. Whatever gets our attention is considered fair game, and there are no rest periods or time outs.

And we have a spiritual enemy who is the master deceiver, and he has so many lures that they would fill a ton of tackle boxes a few times over. Here’s the truth- all of the enemy’s lures target our selfishness. He knows the best way to get our attention is to present something (usually a thought) that will feed our desire to put ourselves first. The evil one hypes the benefits, which look and sound so good and so true, but upon taking the bait, we find it is empty and disappointing, nothing more than a sham that ended up causing you pain. (If you’re like me, you’re thinking of a lure like this that you went after at one point.)

So, like the fish that swallows the hook to its own demise, we have to be on guard so we won’t bite on something that looks really, really good but turns out to be damaging and empty, disillusioning and even shameful.

That’s where time spent with God in prayer and meditation, Bible reading, or openness with just one good trusted friend can help you keep your guard up. Your heart is under attack, and the enemy will use whatever lure he can to rob you of the life God intends for you. I like what Solomon had to say in Proverbs 4:23, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

You’ve probably been there- you’re driving, you check your mirrors and begin to change lanes, and WHAM- out of nowhere, there’s a car in the lane RIGHT beside you. You’re scared out of your wits, adrenaline takes over, and you swerve back into your lane. As your heart slows down to 120 beats a minute, you begin to think back over what you saw as you began to change lanes, and you got nothing. No cars nearby that you could see. That you could see, even though they were there, and many other drivers on the road saw them.

We call the phenomenon a “blind spot”,  that is, a place in our field of vision that we cannot see because of an obscuration. I won’t go scientific on you, but feel free to do a web search to read how our two eyes work together to trick us. (Trivia fact: all vertebrates have blind spots. This bit of information is totally free…. you’re welcome.)

I think we also have spiritual blind spots, but you probably won’t find a scientific explanation for this type in a web search (except maybe this post!), because I kinda made up the phrase. For me this describes what happens when someone exhibits a risky behavior or is in a harmful situation that everyone else can plainly see, but that person is blissfully oblivious. (Think the toilet paper on the shoe, or the “kick me” sign on the back, but with bigger stakes.) Usually, the person is engaged in something or involved with someone that is inflicting pain on themselves, but they somehow don’t see it. It’s only after a near miss (or a crash) that he or she realizes exactly what they were doing to themselves (drinking heavily/often, being involved in a toxic relationship, straying from God’s ways, etc.)  After the fact, it’s easy to see how dangerous the situation was, but in the middle of it all, because the danger was in the person’s spiritual blind spot, they missed it.

So since we all have spiritual blind spots, we need a trusted “spotter”, someone who loves us enough to tell us the truth, and to whom we give permission to speak into our lives for our own protection. It sounds really good (and easy) in theory, but in real time, we tend to resist (okay, resent) people pointing out where we may be in danger, because usually danger feels good. That’s the evil one’s ploy to keep us where damage can occur to our souls. So you’ll need a dependable spotter.

So, think about who you know who would make a good spiritual spotter. Here are a few character traits that would probably serve you well: 1) a Jesus follower 2) someone who has recovered from some near misses or crashes of their own, and learned some solid life lessons from them 3) someone who you respect for their wise decisions 4) someone who is willing to risk ticking you off to help you escape from a bad deal 5) someone your mom would approve of (just threw that in there).

If you’re having trouble coming up with high quality candidates, uh, consider that a clue- cultivate some new relationships that fit the above list. Without a friend or two in our lives like this, we’re left to fend for ourselves against stuff we cannot see. Your spiritual health (and peace of mind) is worth it, don’t you think?

By helping each other with your troubles, you truly obey the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 (NCV)

We all make a LOT of decisions, some big and some small, some stressful, some not so stressful. We tend to stress more about the bigger ones, like where we go to college, who we will marry, if we will marry, where we will live.

It occurred to me a way to measure the magnitude of the decision we are about to make is the potential ripple effect from that decision. And and and…. here’s a hint, the relational decisions WILL have a bigger ripple effect that will last longer and go farther. Here’s what I mean. Choosing a college is a  big deal, no doubt. Choosing where to live is a big deal, too. The bigger deal, though, are the relationships within those arenas- who we allow to influence us, who we choose to trust, who we choose to have sex with (or not), whether to marry, whether to divorce, whether to have kids or have an abortion.

The ripple effect of our relational choices will have a greater impact because our reason for existence is at its core, relational. It’s not about how much money we can accumulate (or spend), not what school we went to and what our degree is, not how many square feet are in our house and what stuff’s in those square feet.

It’s hard to judge what the ripple effect will be of any decision. However, it’s often easier for a good friend (wise helps, too) to see what might ripple out from a relational decision you’re facing. God didn’t put us here to go it alone, you know. And He’s always there too, ready to help… if you’ll allow Him to….